Things that helped me

Last year I had rehabilitation for my physics problems. During the interview, we decided I also have to see a physiologist to help me to make mentally stronger when I have a physical set back.

After a small talk with physiologist, he told me I am a perfectionist. I was laughing, seriously I am not a perfectionist, because I can be a total mess now and then. Then I had to be honest about it… Not true, my bathroom and bedroom can be a mess. But my living room have to be organised before I go to bed and lately my bedroom and office are organised as well. And by doing that every day I feel that cleaning my living room is whole lot easier because everything is already where it belongs.

During our talks I realise he is right, I am perfectionist in small things. I do have become The-Perfectionist-Scale-3more and more organise on some level. I need to have a grip on things. Then I realise why… I needed it because I can’t control my physical problems. So if I can control something else then why not. Then he helped me to look to the positive things. Keep track in “white book”. We all know a “black book”. Black book is negative, white book is positive. By writing down every day what went well helps me to realise that there are good things too when I’ve bad days. For example, yesterday evening, I was tired and not feeling very great, I decided to do my work out anyway. Because I know, when I start skip one evening, then it will make easier to skip another evening. I was so proud of myself that I did it and that is something I write in my white book. So it is about all small things that you did that makes you happy or you did even though you did not wanted. I do it on and off and it helps me to focus on what did go well. You are only allowed to write what did well and don’t end with “but….”.

Another thing is #1000happymoments. A friend of mine started over two years ago. Shortly after her, I decided to join her. It helps me to remind myself that there is always a happy moment every day. Last year my best friend lost her father and even then I tried to find a happy moment, it could be hot chocolate, just reading a book, watching tv, walking, drawing. It is just about the small things that we easily take it for granted. But just those small things are my happy moments. And if I feel lonely and thinking no one is there for me. All I have to do is looking at those pictures and thinking is not true, I have amazing friends and they are there for me when I will ask for.

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