Yesterday I went to see my family doctor. For few months I have been struggling with sombre/gloomy moods. It just don’t want to go away. Slowly I feel sometimes just kind of numb. Not when I am with family or friends but it is hard to keep that happy feeling. It changes quickly in sombre feelings. I don’t have sombre thoughts is just feelings.
I made a double appointment because it take more time to talk about and I also combined it with two other physical complains. It was a good talk. He really listened and ask diverse kind of questions. Eventually I shed tiny bit tears. The last few months I haven’t been able to cry. I am somehow become less emotional about this feelings. Like I said, kind of numb.
Now I have appointment with a nurse who is specialised in psychology. Just see and talk what she can do for me, what can I do to change it. I have tried a lot. Some helps me to keep my head organised, but it doesn’t change my feelings. And I want to change that feelings. I don’t want to sit on the couch and feel this. I just want to feel happy and hold on to that feeling. At this moment is like, when I did something nice, the feelings don’t stick with me. I am like, yeah whatever! Hopefully she can help me with it. I will see.
I also went for my ears and eyes. I have dry eyes for over a year and there are days that I really need to use eye drops four times a day. He told me it is okay to use 4 times a day or more if it is needed. I have some trouble with my hearing for the last few months. Every time I checked at family doctor it turned out my eardrums aren’t shining. If the eardrums are glossy is a good sign. But mine stayed glazed (not sure or it is the right word, I googled for translation). Because of that, my hearing is a mess. I do wear hearing aids, but sometimes it is too loud, or too soft. The same with TV, turn up or down. And sometimes I do have sting of pain, like my eardrum is infected, but it is not. We decided that I go to see a specialist. See what he can do for me. It has been long enough now.
Overall it was a good talk. I am glad that went and talked about it. It feels good to have taken some actions.