Week of loneliness

In the Netherlands, we have this week the week of loneliness. Then they organise all kind of things so people can come out and connect with others. Is a week when we have to stop and think about all those people that are lonely, no families or friends. But then again, you might have family and friends and still can feel lonely.

There are about three and half million people lonely in the Netherlands, that is about 30% of the Dutch people. Of that group feels one million very lonely. The last few years I read articles in the news about people that have been dead for days, weeks or even months. There was even a woman dead for 10 years in her home! She died of natural cause. She was only found because constructers needed to be in her apartment and she didn’t open it. They called the police. She was a loner. And they thought she has no family but she did 20822_2w9giopehad one daughter. They haven’t spoke with each other for 20 years, how sad is that!

There are moments that I feel lonely, but then I know I am not. Is just a moment that I feel very down and more emotional. Sometimes I reach out to text or email with my friends, because I know I am not lonely. Sometimes I just do nothing and let it pass. That is not very often because I honestly love me-time. Sometimes I plan whole weekend as me-time weekend, that means, reading, watching tv, reading, no social media (except for texting), reading, walking (depend what kind of weather is), reading (did I mention that before?).

There are people who just love to be alone, so don’t force them to socialise! Just respect their wishes. I used to work in care home for elderly. There was a woman who loved, loved to be on her own and being busy with crocheting and stuff. Now and then I went up to see her and for a talk. She knew very well want she wanted or not. While the nurses were trying to convince here to go to activities I was like, let her be. She was perfectly happy with her life. Eventually she did attend two activities because she liked it. The fun part was, she didn’t really interact with others but came to learn about new techniques or to get some new ideas. Eventually my colleagues and nurses accepted her the way she was.

We have to learn to see the difference between wanted to be alone and loneliness. Most introverted people like to be alone, that doesn’t mean they are lonely. If they want to socialise they will, but only when they want to. And there are people who are lonely but don’t know how to socialise, reach out, help them but don’t force them. Just let them socialise on their own pace but be there and help them.

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16 thoughts on “Week of loneliness

  1. Thank you so much for distinguishing the difference between these two very different things so clearly. It’s all a product of the fact that the majority of society are extroverts. Thus introverts like myself are severely outnumbered and are often under pressure to conform to the status quo. It’s quite infuriating.

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  2. Mooi geschreven…..vooral dat je mensen hun zelf moet laten zijn, sommigen zijn inderdaad graaf op zichzelf en heel gelukkig. Ik heb weleens momenten dat ik me eenzaam voel ( ben ik niet ) maar dan ben ik nog in de gelukkige positie dat ik naar mijn ouders of m’n dochter kan. Maar er zijn ook momenten dat ik het alleen zijn bewust wil, om tot mezelf te komen. Mezelf even tijd te geven om te genieten vd rust dus het is hier een beetje een dubbel proces. Als ik lees dat mensen na een tijd dood gevonden worden gewoon uit eenzaamheid dan vind ik dat wel heel triest…….want dat doet me dan wel wat, vroeger had je nog het omzien naar elkaar sowieso dmv buren maar dat gaat er meer en meer af…….

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    • Dank je! Precies, je moet mensen respecteren en accepteren zoals ze zijn. Logisch, ik heb dat ook en ik ben het niet want ik heb geweldige mensen om me heen.
      Ja klopt, naar mijn belevenis was vroeger meer samenhorigheid en was er toch een soort sociale controle. Is triest hoe het nu is.

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  3. I think this is great that you have a week to remember loneliness and the lonely. It’s true that a lot of people are lonely in this world and even the most extroverted may also be the loneliest of all. The introverted ones, especially who know what they want are surprisingly not lonely and are content with being who they are. WE just thrive in solitary moments most of the time. It’s sad to think of that old woman dying and no one even knew, not even her own daughter.

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  4. I hope our blogs could be advocates for those trying to look for answers about their introversion. It can be overwhelming and confusing, based on my experience. But now, I’ve never been so sure of what I want to do and it’s given me a stress free life, so to speak. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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