At this moment, I feel like I want to be on the couch and read whole day. Especially because I am reading, a book of more than 900 pages and I would like to read more then 20-30 pages a day. During the week, I don’t read as much as I would like to.
Even though I still have no job, I am busy the whole day. And there are weeks that I see or speak some one every day. Then I am longing for two days in a row to be on my own, and just read a lot. If I sit on the couch now, I feel guilty, because I have to look for jobs, must do this or that. I sometimes even feel guilty if I want to spend my time on drawing. But right now I just rather want to crawl on my couch with a blanket, cup of tea and a book. Then I tell myself, you can’t do this, because you have to continue with drawing. I work on a drawing for my sister, even though I haven’t finish before Thursday I for sure don’t want to give it months after her birthday. So no excuses and go to work.
Maybe I feel this way because I know the next few days will be busy and I only have Saturday all for myself. I might clean my bedroom on Sunday before I go to the movie and read the whole day on Saturday and maybe go for a walk. Maybe I also feel this way because my best friend will be here on Sunday and leave on Tuesday. The last few years we are celebrating Halloween by watching scarring movies. I recorded few good ones, like ‘The Shining’ and ‘It’. I honestly don’t know or I ever have seen ‘The Shining’. And I am not sure or I ever have seen the end of ‘It’, maybe I was too scared back then. I look forward to watch those movies. Not sure or he want to watch those movies or rather want to watch other scary movies I recorded.
And maybe because he will be here for a couple days always makes me itchy, nervous. But when the moment is there I have fun. It is just knowing that I don’t have much me-time can make me nervous, because I have also an appointment on Friday. I will be with my other best friend, she is going to help me with stuff and then we go watch her oldest play field hockey and I stay over for dinner. I always enjoy being around her kids and play games with them. But it also takes a lot of energy.
Saturday I will have a me-day and going to read almost the whole day. I might go out for a walk if the weather is nice. Just a day that I don’t have to do anything, Just do want I want to do, just to recharge.