I realised few weeks that depression is a part of me. It is not like back then when I thought it won’t come back. But it does and the time period between are shorter. I was texting with a friend that has two different type of depression. She said, ‘take your time, and learn to embrace it because it is a part of you.’ It doesn’t mean I am. I have depression but I am not depression. It is so important to see that difference. I learn that long ago when I was diagnosing with fibromyalgia. At that time, I had no job, no future and it was hard to change me way of thinking. I allowed fibromyalgia to control my life; I allowed becoming some kind of personality. But it is not, it is a part of me, yes. It has affected on some of my personality but it does define who I am.
That goes the same with depression. It does not define who I am. I just now have to learn
to embrace it that I have it but it does not tell me who I am. And I have to remind myself of that, not only now but always. Because it is so easy to forgot and feel that depression is controlling my life, especially on those days that I feel weak.
The different with introvert is that is who I am. It is a part of my personality and that is okay. It is as if I am kind person, caring person. Those things define your personality. All those other things like hearing problem, fibromyalgia, depression and the rest, it does not tell whom you are.
What you do matters, that shows your personality. And you decide which people can see which part of your personality. With some, you feel very safe and they see a lot of you personality and some only a very small part of it. As long as you know who you are, don’t let the environment tell you different things, don’t let your physical problems tell you otherwise.
I am proud to be an introvert that is who I am. And I am learning to embrace other things that might eventually help me to become better person. All those issues can teach me to be stronger on different level, to become better person for myself. I am always good for others but not always for myself. If I don’t learn to be a better person for myself then I will always feel disappointed in myself, even though I might not have disappointed others. It is more important on how I think of myself and not on how others thinks of me.
Of course, that it is easier said than done. We all are sensitive of what the media display us. How we have to be, act, wear, look like. But each person is unique and each person deals differently with things.
I have… and I am…