I don’t remember why I wrote it down as subject to write about, looking back.
It is hard not to look back, because our past and everything we have gone through shaped us for who we are today. Yet it can be a burden if you keep looking back. And in most cases what is the use of looking back.
I have written earlier about living in the moment. It is hard be in the moment and focus on what I do at this moment. I do however notice that I live more and more in the moment. Because of the way I plan things I am be able to focus on what I have or want to do today. Of course, I do think about the future and would love to know what going to happen, will I get a job, will my health stay stable and etc. But if there is one thing I for sure have learned the last decade, especially on health level, you never know!
Do I tend to look back often? Not as much as I used too, I only look back on great memories that make me smile. Do I tend to look too the future often? There are days that I do. I do have notices that I think less and less of the far future. Because as I have said above, my healthy situations have taught me that it can change anytime. I can make wonderful plans but I have learned not to expect too much so I won’t get disappointed. I do make plans on short-term and the only thing I do plan on long-term is holiday. That way I can let go the fear of disappointing myself and along with that not getting more depress.
That way I am able to enjoy more to be in the present and focus on what is happening now. I enjoy the moment when I finished writing a blog or a column, reading a book, watching a movie or series. I enjoy the moment when I lit the candles, cook, walking. I enjoy the moment when I did exercise, texting with great friends, lunch with my parents. I enjoy the moment when I can help my sis or my friends. I enjoy the moment when the sun shine or it rains and have a nice cup of tea and hang with my good friends. Just by living more in the present, I can enjoy those things more. Be aware of those moments and because of that, I have notices I can deal the setback of my physical problems easier. It is what it is and I enjoy those moments of what I can do instead of looking what I can’t do.
It took me years to realise this and become aware of it. But we never stop learning.