Where did my structure have gone?

Lately I feel there is no structure in my daily days, in the weekend I don’t plan. That is the moment I just enjoy staying longer in bed and feel I don’t have to do anything, except if I have appointment of course.

At this moment I feel I have planned it all wrong and too much. I let my tiredness control me too much. I sleep at this moment mostly about 4-5 hours a night. And the weather keep changing from one extreme to another.  There are days that it is so hot, as soon as I move I already start to sweat and there are days I walk around with stockings on. That weather change also affects my sleep. I already have sleeping disorder and from April/May until September, I have restless legs.

All that together is not good progress for my sleep. Every morning I wake up tired and yet I get out. Even though I don’t have a job, my alarm clock always goes off at 7am and I have a half hour before I get out. I like to start slow and take time to get awake and read a bit before I have to start with my day. I do start every morning with my half hour writing in my journal, another way of starting my day slowly instead of rushing. I reflect a bit about yesterday and write about what my plans are for today and anything else.

I look forward to after Augustus 6th. Because after that I don’t have much appointments. I do have to take care of my sis cats, but she only lives few minutes away from me. And I think I will keep it for the rest Augustus a bit free so I can get back to my structure.  I need that at this moment, because I feel that my depression get a bit triggered now of all that appointments, changing of weathers, aching body and bad nights. Just to make sure that depression is not controlling me I have to take a step back and reflect on few things. For now I feel it is a bit hard to step back.

The picture is a perfect example of how it goes sometimes. I have set up a new daily structure. Instead of trying, to do all the work on my laptop in three times 2 hours I now do it every day for hour and half. That way I feel less pressure if I haven’t done 20258280_1619228094814615_8551453497602527693_nsomething yet on my laptop, there is always tomorrow if it wasn’t important.  Because of that, I feel I also have more time to clean my house. I do try doing no more than what I have planned because that way I might overdo it and pay the price the next day.

Slowly I hope I manage to find a structure that really works for me and gives me times to relax. I feel I haven’t taken time to relax but keep going. And because of that I don’t take the time to read during day time. I for sure want to make more time to relax between two actions.

I wish you a lovely day!


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