Yesterday was a lovely day, did nothing! It really felt good to have such a day. I read the whole day, I have missed that, reading the whole day. Lately I have sleep problems, sleep only like 3-5 hours a night. Because of that, I have sometimes difficulty to focus or be able to read the whole day. So, it for sure felt good yesterday that I allowed myself to do that and be able to do that. I didn’t even watch TV until hockey (field hockey, not ice hockey) match started.
There is European Championship Hockey and this year is in the Netherlands. I was too late to get a ticket. I hope that I get some next time. I really would love to experience it for once to be there! For over a week is every evening at 8 pm Dutch time a match between Dutch – another team. One evening the women are on the field, other evening men. Tonight men will play against Belgium. It might be a tough game for men because the team of Belgium has grown to be a strong team. However, lots of foreign love to play in the Dutch competition because the competition here is on a high level. Unlike most other countries, hockey players get better paid and support here. I believe India and Argentina are also on high level. I do know that the players from Argentina are very good and they won the last Olympic Game I believe.
I grew up with that sport and have played for many years. So, I love to watch it and I also love to watch tennis.
Anyway, yesterday was a good day. Lately I felt guilty if I just did nothing. I have to let that go and take my rest. Because of lack of sleep, I feel restless and keep doing things or keep grabbing my tablet of my phone to distract me. That was why I was glad I was being able to read the whole day. I have really missed doing that.
I will go buy something for sleep. A friend of mine used it and it helps her. I give a shot and try. And luckily, they have two for one price. I hope it will help me too. I really need my sleep now. Because it is getting harder to keep depression away from me, to focus, to do my exercises, to cook every night, eat healthy.
And yet I manage to force myself to go out for a walk because I know it relaxes me and I enjoy it. But also, be able just to read the whole day, I really miss that! And not feeling guilty.
I feel guilty if I don’t do stuff. I don’t have a job and I do have partly disability benefit. And I feel like I have to earn that money, but that ridicules because there is a reason why I receive it. To be honest, I am not sure or going back to work will be a good idea. With the last two jobs, I got depressed and it didn’t do my body any good. At the same time, I want to give a try again, even though it is for a financial reason. It would be nice if I were able to spend a bit more again.
Anyway, I for sure will take more time to read, I have missed that.
How was your weekend?