About few things

Yesterday was a lovely day, did nothing! It really felt good to have such a day. I read the whole day, I have missed that, reading the whole day. Lately I have sleep problems, sleep only like 3-5 hours a night. Because of that, I have sometimes difficulty to focus or be able to read the whole day. So, it for sure felt good yesterday that I allowed myself to do that and be able to do that. I didn’t even watch TV until hockey (field hockey, not ice hockey) match started.

There is European Championship Hockey and this year is in the Netherlands. I was too late to get a ticket. I hope that I get some next time. I really would love to experience it for once to be there! For over a week is every evening at 8 pm Dutch time a match i-love-hockeybetween Dutch – another team. One evening the women are on the field, other evening men. Tonight men will play against Belgium. It might be a tough game for men because the team of Belgium has grown to be a strong team. However, lots of foreign love to play in the Dutch competition because the competition here is on a high level. Unlike most other countries, hockey players get better paid and support here. I believe India and Argentina are also on high level. I do know that the players from Argentina are very good and they won the last Olympic Game I believe.
I grew up with that sport and have played for many years. So, I love to watch it and I also love to watch tennis.

Anyway, yesterday was a good day. Lately I felt guilty if I just did nothing. I have to let that go and take my rest. Because of lack of sleep, I feel restless and keep doing things or keep grabbing my tablet of my phone to distract me. That was why I was glad I was being able to read the whole day. I have really missed doing that.

I will go buy something for sleep. A friend of mine used it and it helps her. I give a shot and try. And luckily, they have two for one price. I hope it will help me too. I really need my sleep now. Because it is getting harder to keep depression away from me, to focus, to do my exercises, to cook every night, eat healthy.

And yet I manage to force myself to go out for a walk because I know it relaxes me and I enjoy it. But also, be able just to read the whole day, I really miss that! And not feeling guilty.

I feel guilty if I don’t do stuff. I don’t have a job and I do have partly disability benefit.  And I feel like I have to earn that money, but that ridicules because there is a reason why I receive it. To be honest, I am not sure or going back to work will be a good idea. With the last two jobs, I got depressed and it didn’t do my body any good. At the same time, I want to give a try again, even though it is for a financial reason. It would be nice if I were able to spend a bit more again.

Anyway, I for sure will take more time to read, I have missed that.

How was your weekend?


2 thoughts on “About few things

  1. Don’t be too hard on yourself! Relaxing days are good for you. And if you’re having problems sleeping, then all the more reason to rest when you can. Reading is exercise for your brain. It is more important than physical exercise. If you don’t use your brain, it will start to die. I saw that with my Mom. So exercise that brain!! It is good for you!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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